New Beginnings

I was thinking while Colby and I were in Israel that it's about time we started a blog to welcome little baby Manscill and start recording all the fun family moments; and although baby Manscill decided to pick a different due date and come to the Earth at a different time, I still think it's a good idea that Colby and I start a family blog.

I've looked forward to being a mom for several years, probably since the time that I first started having nieces and nephews. Special moments in prayer have been praying for my future children and a couple times in my life I have felt their special presence. My roommates always made fun of me in college because I loved going into baby stores, or looking at (and occasionally buying) cute clothes from the baby section of different stores. One friend even bought me a baby outfit as a joke for my birthday one year. From the day I found out I was pregnant I have imagined what my child would be like, look like, and different traditions I want to start as a mom. Right before we left to the hospital, I kept imagining holding a warm little newborn baby in my arms--hoping my faith would be enough to keep the baby alive. As I was laying in the E.R. I kept thinking that maybe Colby's "twin" wish had come true and there was still another baby hiding in my stomach somewhere.

As hard as this loss has been for us, each day becomes a little easier, and each day I'm a little more grateful. Grateful for the tender mercies, grateful for the chance to become closer to my husband, and most of all, grateful for the opportunity to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. How ironic that only a few hours after spending some time in the Garden Tomb, we lost our baby. After the hospital visit Mom Manscill said to us, "I hope this isn't what you remember about your trip." But I wouldn't want my miscarriage to be connected to any other memory than the one that connected us with our Savior. In 1st Nephi, when referring to Laman and Lemual it says, "And they did murmer because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them." I have no doubt that the timing of our miscarriage was exactly as Heavenly Father planned it; and how cool that he set up such a tender learning experience for us! Yes, it seems like a long road before I get to hold that warm infant in my arms, but we get to celebrate the opportunity for new beginnings. I get the chance to get my body to a healthy state, Colby gets a wife with more energy whom he can hike, rock climb, and enjoy his summer with, and we both get just a little bit more time to prepare to be rockin' awesome parents! :)

Tune in later this summer for pics of our triathlon. Hopefully we have time and energy to train for one now!